Beautiful Love
by Darkfire75
Summary: “Wait,” America said, a look of deep concentration on his face. “You…No. No way.” A look of horror crossed his face. “You didn’t. Please. Please tell me you didn’t. Not right next to us.”


_**Author's note:**__ So while RPing England on facebook one night, I posted a bunch of pics of the Dysfunctional Family and there was this one pic where France was shown molesting England in bed while little Canada and America slept RIGHT NEXT TO THEM. Naturally, the comments I got on that were hilarious and were what inspired this. Some of the dialogue used during that RP is used here. So...yeah. XD Laugh and enjoy!_

***

England wasn't sure whose idea it was to have a 'family' outing. If he had known he was to be dragged to a restaurant, he would have worn nicer clothes. But France had suddenly announced that they were going to meet America and Canada for dinner at an Italian Restaurant. It must have been America's idea, since they were all visiting in New York City.

The food was delicious and England was actually enjoying himself, though he would never outwardly admit it. He swirled the spaghetti around with his fork and was just lifting it to his mouth when he heard France say, "Ah, but those nights with _mon Angleterre_ were lovely~"

He started choking on his food and pounded at his chest. "Arthur?!" France cried, slapping him on the back.

"You…" he wheezed and spit the pasta from his mouth across the table.

"Ah, are you all right, _mon cher_?"

"You…!"

"That's so gross, Artie," America said as he chomped on a meatball.

England was seething, sending all his death glares at France. "How _dare_ you!" he hissed.

France blinked. "_Quoi_?"

"You know what, you bloody frog! You mentioned…_that_!"

"That?"

"That?" America and Canada said curiously in unison.

England was aware all eyes were on him at the table now and he swallowed, glancing at France. "Yes. _That_."

"What—_Oh. That_," France said with a grin.

"Whoa, wait, what're you guys talking about?" America asked.

"N-Nothing!" England stammered, hoping the subject would be dropped and mentally kicking himself for bringing it up.

"Oh, _mon cher_, it was not nothing," France teased. "I will tell the boys."

"Francis, _please_, we're eating _dinner_! In _public_!"

"It is but a tale of love~"

"Molestation, you mean."

America and Canada were looking between them as though watching a tennis match.

"_Non_, it was love!"

"You say love, but I know that's just an excuse to put your Eiffel Tower where it shouldn't go."

"_Mon Dieu_, Arthur!"

"…What the hell, guys," America deadpanned.

Canada had decided to ignore them in favor of finishing his meal.

England shook his head. "Nothing. We're dropping the subject."

"But I wanna know what 'that' is!" America whined. "C'moooooon, tell us!"

"Us?" Canada said softly.

"Yeah, don't you wanna know too, Mattie?"

"Not really…"

"Papa will tell you!" France said and ignored the look of death sent his way. "It all started on a night like this one…"

"You were eating out?"

"Well, no. But we were all there."

"Really? How come Matt and I don't remember?"

France smiled. "Because you both were very small at the time; tiny little nations under our care."

"Oooh."

"_Oui_. So one night, as _Angleterre_ and I put you both to sleep, we were overcome by the passionate emotion known as love!"

England started choking on his glass of water. "I was half asleep, you bugger!" he spat, face reddening.

"Ah, _oui_, but you did not push me away, _mon cher_."

"You didn't even wait until we were back in our own room, you pervert!"

"I did so love how you tried to hold in your moans, _Angleterre_~"

"I didn't want to wake the poor boys up!"

"Wait," America said, a look of deep concentration on his face. "You…No. No way." A look of horror crossed his face. "You didn't. Please. Please tell me you didn't. Not right next to us."

France smirked. "Oh, but you were so small, Alfred. It's not like you would remember."

America's eyes widened and he pushed his chair back, his mouth open wide in shock. "OH MY GOD!!!! I HATE YOU BOTH! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

England coughed and looked away, an uncomfortable look on his face. "But it is love, Alfred," France cooed. "Love~!"

"What'd they do next to us, Alfred?" Canada asked, finally fed up with being left out.

"Beautiful, beautiful love~" France smiled. America covered his face with his hands. England looked down into his lap, blushing furiously.

"Eh?"

"Sex, Matt. Sex," America finally groaned. "Like they made love sex right next to us. This is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life!"

"WH-WHAT?!" Canada cried, eyes widening as he stared at the two older nations. "Y-YOU DID?"

"Fufufu, you are so cute, Mathieu," France chuckled. "And don't be that way, Alfred! It's beautiful!"

"Is not!" he growled. "You guys are gross! Ugh, I just got mental pictures too!"

"Gah!" Canada put his hands over his ears and curled up on his chair in the fetal position before tipping over onto the floor.

England looked accusingly at the Frenchman beside him. "Look what you did, Francis. You killed them."

"I guess it will take some time to get used to, _non_? They will soon know what we have done was just an act of love. Beautiful love~!"

"Oh shut up."

"But _mon cher_—"

"Erm…excuse me, sirs." A nervous waiter approached their table. "The other guests are complaining about the noise from your table. Could you keep it down?"

"I'm terribly sorry," England said with a resigned sigh. "This bastard doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut."

"I resent that, Arthur! You did not want me keeping it shut last night—"

"_FRANCIS_!"

The waiter's face had gone very red. America and Canada pretended to gag themselves. England began to strangle France while the rest of the restaurant guests watched in mild amusement and horror. 'Family outing' indeed.


End file.
